 |
 |
![Instant Rapport [AUDIOBOOK] - Michael Brooks](rappp1.jpg) |
|
| US / UK | US / UK | US / UK |
A sense of rapport helps to ease an interaction. Some people are able to gain a natural rapport from the outset due to similarities that already exist. These may be similar likes or dislikes, giving a workable direction to small talk, or, on a more fundamental level two people may be using the same representation system (for more on this see eye accessing cues)
As a therapist, gaining rapport is an essential skill that will allow your client to feel at ease and vastly improve the effectiveness of your therapy. You can build rapport by simple being like your patient, match certain physiological characteristics subtly, do not make the matching process too obvious as this may be perceived as mimicry and your client may take offense.
Some of the basics of rapport building and how this can be developed into pacing and leading are detailed below. You should not force these steps, or they will appear unnatural to your client. Familiarize yourself with the rapport process and then, rather than consciously doing it, whenever you need to gain rapport with someone mentally command yourself to gain a sense of rapport with the person and use pacing and leading technique to develop the interaction in the direction you desire. Really believe and expect that your command will be obeyed and it will! Once you have given the command trust your subconscious mind to make the subtly changes that will produce the affect you are looking for.
Cross matching is used to gain rapport with your client. If they are, for example swinging a leg, you might like to perform a similar movement with your hands. This avoids direct mimicry, which can be offensive. You are simply matching a movement with another part of your body. If your client suddenly started picking their nose, picking yours would not be a good idea! A gentle scratch of your ear would do the trick… but please make sure it is clean first!
Cross-over matching is using a different movement to match your client. Every time they do one thing you do something to match it. An example would be to take a sip of your drink each time they cross their legs.
Pacing and leading is
the real magic of rapport. First off, we pace somebody by adjusting our voice
tonality, breathing patterns, body language, and gestures etc. to match theirs.
Then we choose a desired state where we would like to lead the client to and
make the necessary changes. If the rapport building, pacing exercise has gone
well, as we change our posture and gestures the client will follow. You can lead
a client to any state that you desire by using these invaluable techniques! This
method is very useful for motivating a depressed person. Saying ‘cheer up!’
in a cheery tone does nothing to break their state. But by pacing their
experience, gaining rapport and leading them, you are able to make huge changes
to a person’s emotional state in seconds! (and it is great fun practicing on
work friends and family!)